HARD, HARD, HARD

I have found myself crying off and on for the past 3 weeks. It all started on a Monday night. I went with my BFF, Lorie, to her first Divorce Care class at our church. She has been divorced since December '09 and not healing very well. As soon as I walked in the door, I immediately started crying because I could feel the pain of the all the people in that room. I have to admit, I felt rather stupid, as I had just celebrated my 30th anniversary and I looked like I needed more help than anyone in the class trying to recover from divorce! I tried to stop crying but I couldn't! People were handing me hankies and patting me on the back. Lorie was laughing because she knew what was happening to me.

I was looking at Lorie's new study book for the class. Inside the front cover there was also a book and video you could order for those who have troubled marriages that wanted to learn how they could stay together. JUST THE CLASS I HAVE FOREVER WANTED TO TEACH!!! I was excited to ask the leader of the class about where this class was being offered. Class continues and I just keep crying, wishing I had a prayer room to go to where I could just really LET IT OUT!

So, we have a break and go to the coffee shop we have in the building. Soon as I walked out of the room, I am doing just fine! RELIEF AT LAST! Time for class to start again. As soon as i walk in, I start the water works again. Now, we have broken up into small groups. Lorie explains I am just her support person for the night and that I have been married 30 years. I am trying to smile through my tears and someone pats me again and hands me a tissue......

FINALLY! Class is over! The sad, grieving people start to leave, but I am hanging on to talk to the leader about this other class. At last I have his attention! I ask him about the class and he cocks his head and looks confused and says he's never heard of such a class. I tell him it's mentioned in the book he is teaching and he said," No, he didn't think that was in there." I then asked him if our church didn't provide counseling for people whose marriages were in trouble and they wanted to stay together. He immediately "sensed" why I had been crying and offered to hook me up with a pastor at the church for counseling help. LOL! I shook my head and laughed, grabbed Lorie's book and showed him what I was talking about. He was astounded to see this in the book. I told him I was astounded that the rate of divorce was the same in the church as it was in the world and I thought the church should be proactive in doing something to change this and I thought this class looked like a good beginning. I told him I would LOVE TO TEACH THAT CLASS!

As Lorie and I were driving home, we discussed how heavy the grieving was in that class (and my over-reaction to it) and how we both sensed certain things about particular people. Lorie and I walk together in this trecherous gift that we have great respect for with reverence and fear of the Lord as well. Because we realize, first of all, we can be wrong, and that the power of this gift can be used for great good.....yet at the same time, if not used under the submission and yielding of the Holy Spirit and His love, can be very damaging. So, with fear and great respect we share what we had sensed about some of the people we had met. Several of them, men in particular ~ we saw their hardness of heart and that was what was keeping them from staying married. The women we met, were in varying states of devestation depending on their circumstances (length of marriage, age of children, job situation, etc.). I am sure there were other women in other small groups that were suffering from that same hardness of heart, we just didn't meet any of them that night....SO I AM NOT DISSING MEN!

I didn't go to the class with Lorie the next week.....she was brave enough to go on her own! LOL! She told me the man I talked to mentioned a new class coming up soon......a class on how to love, forgive and keep your marriage together.

We have only been going to this church for a few months and it is the first MEGA CHURCH we have ever gone to, so that is why we didn't know what all they offered and why I was questioning the leader of this group. I pray that my thoughts on the matter prompted him to go to leadership and ask that this hole be filled. Thank you Jesus! I am humbled! I pray for soft hearts for both husbands and wives. Without both having a soft heart....there's hardly a snowball's chance.......