Have you ever had the experience of trying to please someone and yet never being able to please them? They tell you this will please them....you do it and suddenly there are more conditions.....MORE HOOPS, if you will, to jump through to make them happy.
I have watched my friend jump through the hoops her family has drawn for her for the last year and a half. She willing runs to and fro to jump through everyone's hoops and worries that she if she jumps through one person's hoop, she will make another person mad.
Her husband draws a hoop.....she jumps....just before she makes it through - he RAISES the HOOP. She misses.....she starts over, running harder, longer, faster....jumps again.....oops! He has just raised the hoop once again! O.K......try again, "I must," she thinks, "so I can keep my family together." She goes back to the starting line again (because that's where she BELONGS according to her husband) and runs ever faster. This time she makes it! She JUMPS THROUGH THE HOOP! But wait....NO!!!! Just as she is about to go through it....he lights it on FIRE! He is finally satisfied because she has done what he wanted and he has managed to damage her in the process. After all....this is what she deserves....so he thinks. System working: is he happy now?
The HOOP SYSTEM in this family is terrible. Even the children and in-laws join in. The in-laws make promises of help.....if you will.......They have just managed to make her jump another hoop in her desperation to provide for herself and her children. System working: are they happy now?
The children are rarely satisfied with anything she has to offer them. They have been taught this is o.k......this is how you treat women.....they are dumb and know nothing. One son treats her like he is her superior, talks down to her and demands she follow his instructions to the letter and the hour because he is so much smarter than her. Once again, she has jumped through his hoop to keep the peace and relationship intact. System working: is he happy now?
The younger son wants this toy, this gun, this knife NOW!!!! Or maybe he wants to eat NOW!!!! She says, "o.k., I will make you a sandwich." "I don't like sandwiches, mommy." "O.K., I will take you to Sonic." "You know I don't like Sonic anymore." "O.K, she says.....I will take you to Wendy's." "I have told you already that I am burnt out on Wendy's." O.K. then.........on and never ending on he will go until she explodes! System working: is he happy now?
But all this didn't start here. No, indeed, she was conditioned from childhood to jump hoops. Her mother was a hoop drawer, too. We tend to be attracted to what we already know and are comfortable with.....so we marry people who draw hoops.
Sometimes we get angry and start drawing our own hoops to get back at the chronic hoop drawers. But this rarely works for us....so we abandon the idea and keep on jumping!
TO THE HOOP DRAWERS OUT THERE: This is not a note of condemnation. I have plenty of things I need to change myself. My prayer is that this will open your eyes. I know you are blind and cannot see or you would not draw hoops.....because it is rarely the intention of another person to hurt someone they love. Hoop drawing is passed down, and comes from early conditioning in your own life. If you draw hoops, just ask God for revelation to help you stop, and forgiveness to free you from guilt. Please do not pass your drawing skills to the next generation. It only harms them and their future relationships.
TO THE HOOP JUMPERS OUT THERE: This is not a note of condemnation to you either. Indeed, I pray this is a note of revelation: that you no longer have to jump through anyone's hoops! You are free to be in Jesus. Let Him love you just as you are.....He will help you to love yourself, just as you are. He will never draw a hoop for you to jump through because he loves his creation. Allow Him to shape and mold you and free you from jumping. And.....by-the-way: PRAY for the HOOP DRAWERS in your life. Don't try to enlighten them, this is an assignment only God can do. Pray they have revelation. But, in the meantime.....you don't have to jump through their hoops.
REMEMBER: YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. If you continue to jump their hoops, they will continue to draw them....because it works for them. They draw, you jump....so they are happy because they were rewarded with the intended result, to make you do what they want you to do the way they want you to do it.
Please, kindly, stop jumping hoops, for your own sanity and for the deliverance of your loved ones as well. I know it won't be easy. But God will be beside you to show you the way out of your bondage. You really can be free, Child of God.
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